Page 82 - Musings 2021

were taking their toll, for I became the victim of my self-doubt. My parents had their
preconceived notions, and so did I. I couldn’t overcome those thoughts. Those thoughts
pulled me back like the strings of a kite. I struggled and struggled to keep myself calm, but I
couldn’t. Seeing others and comparing them was the biggest villain. But soon after some
time, I got the call. I couldn’t believe what I saw. My parents came to see me. It felt like ages
had passed from the last time I saw them. My foot raced to them, and my hands held them
and never let go. That moment was unlike any other. I felt their warm hugs and cheering
spirit, comforting and motivating. My parents know me as the palm of their hand, my
strength, weakness, every good and evil, every limit and capability. They came to me, 400 km
they traveled. Then they told me the most important words for me, “It doesn’t matter if you
get good marks or not. It’s all about you! That matters! Always believe that everything
happens for a reason and there’s always good in it.” They helped me understand that
everyone is different. We have our strengths and weaknesses. I was once confident and
believed in myself. But even I couldn’t stop the emotions from catching me and getting me
by surprise.

We spent a lot of time together, and I had cold, tasty, and creamy ice-cream, it ran down my
throat. It cooled me, and my parents made me feel a thousand times better. I started to
appreciate the small and big efforts alike. I felt focused on the things which I can do my best.
I felt more involved in the process and not worried. With this motivation, I felt my mind and
body accessible and more in control. After that, I found myself. The feeling of failure didn’t
scare me. Those words would ring in my ears whenever there were any problems or issues.
These words made me realize, “It is our preconceived notions and assumptions which make
us self-destruct. We cannot control them and should not worry about them. That day was a
life-changing moment. I thought of the world as a place where numbers hold great
importance. Things like money, status, etc., were some of the main things that mattered. But
my view changed, I didn’t think of what I would get, but I believed that “If I do it right, with
all my heart and Passion,” Then the reward will be much sweeter. I was able to continue my
life with more enthusiasm and joy than ever before, with a sense of satisfaction. I became
more confident than before, and I felt the energy within me. It didn’t matter where I am now,
and I don’t feel any sadness for the other paths. “If you are doing your best, then there’s
nothing to worry about.”

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