Page 62 - Musings 2022

A Virgin’s Ignorance

Somya Tripathi
2019A4PS0474P

The warmth of the sun soaked me as I woke up to my six-year-old son’s annoyances. I was
sweating profusely from the nightmare I just saw while lying in the sun. They had become

more frequent, maybe because of all the prescriptions but his innocent smile banished all my

fears. “Dad, can we take Leo for a walk by the shore?”

His simple question was posed so lovingly that it almost demanded truth. Pausing for a bit, I

lift him up by her lanky arms and position him on my lap. “Daddy is a bit too tired today, son,

I had some bad dreams and couldn’t get to sleep.” His smile curls downwards and he
unwillingly says “okay”.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to formulate new excuses for the increasing smartness of

a six-year-old. Not having to lie to him about how my body has been ravaged is what sends me
to a new hospital every week in search of some miraculous almost impossible cure. It is this

urge, stronger than the growing tumour that lengthens my battle. He is what ultimately drives
my life.

The sparkling sun cast various hues at the same time and even indulged in a playful game with

the clouds. Melting deep into the horizon it casts a silhouette over an aspiring Aditya still
chasing a misfit band of seagulls. As Aditya splashed on the peaceful waters an uneasy feeling

rose in my chest and I almost instinctively shouted “Be careful Adi, the tide’s coming in. Come

to the shore”. He obediently paddled to the shore.

I have read numerous books written by cancer survivors. Most of them sugar-coat the truth but

a few have outlined that one of the symptoms of this disease is the idea of being so unbelievably

afraid of death, that living almost becomes a mystery. “You start to question each passing
minute of your existence”. I have never understood how “living”, which is something I have

done somewhat seamlessly for the past forty years, can suddenly become a mystery due to an
enlarging tumour in my head. But alas!, I have certainly figured it out. A simple gaze towards

the roughening sea is no longer a serene sight. When the water attacks the innocent, gold casted
beach I imagine the wrath and persistence of rapidly multiplying cancer cells annihilating every

white blood cell in sight. These cancer cells are like the ultimate boss in a video game with

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