Page 81 - Musings 2022

I don’t need her to tell me what’s wrong here – I remember individual events, but cannot think
of anything that happened in between them. There are gaps in my memory!
I have completely broken down – there are no legends, no demons, no magic, no treasures…
only a crazy guy and his crazy father.
My face has grown ugly with my uninterrupted crying – I feel like my entire existence is being
stripped naked. I am not sure about anything anymore.
Prachi is holding me in her arms and she is crying as well, consoling me in-between her sobs.
Even though she is a psychiatrist, I cannot begin to imagine how scary all this is for her, seeing
me all broken and helpless like this. I am suffering from a disease that is eating me away
without any cure, and I am not suffering alone.
***
I check the time upon waking up. The clock shows a little past 2. I can feel the night’s lull
expanding, and it just begged me to reflect on what Prachi has said and my reality.
Seema is sleeping beside me while Prachi is in the living room. Kunal has also left, I think.
I know I am wide awake, but I also know what I am seeing in front of me – the noble warrior
from the legend is standing at the edge of my bed. He is clad in red garments with a sword
around his waist – just the way he is described in the legends.
He is not saying anything, but I can hear his voice in my head.
‘I am disappointed in you.’
Why?
‘You swore to kill Tatakshya, but those were all empty words in the end.’
But there’s no Tatakshya. It’s all in my head.
‘No, it isn’t. Remember what you read about him. Remember the truth.’
To ensure that his curse continues to pass on, Tatakshya would poison the curse bearer’s
decision-making senses slowly to avoid this. The poison rots the bearer’s mind until they start
to doubt their footing.
My heart skips a beat upon this realisation. I cannot believe how easily Tatakshya was about
to defeat me. It is a farce that I allowed it to get to this point!
‘It isn’t too late yet. You can still go and slay him, and earn back your happiness.’
I will.
‘You remember what you have to do?’
I know. This single epiphany has cleared all doubts in my mind, and I was focused on a singular
goal now – slaying Tatakshya.
Tatakshya cannot die until human desires exist. The greed for his treasure will live on until
humans live, but there is a way around it.
I will go to the hill and call him out with my magic. He is trying to steal my legs, so he won’t
deny the invitation. Right then, I will sacrifice myself by slitting my throat on the magic circle.
That way, I can defeat Tatakshya and the human desires that power his magic.
‘But will it all be for nought if you die as well.’
It is, but that’s the only way to get rid of the human desires for his treasure.
The warrior, satisfied with my conviction, disappeared. But he, too, hasn’t realised how this all
will end. I have already uncovered the magic behind Tatakshya’s immortality. The magic is
weak with salt, but it will be powerful enough if I spill my entire blood on it. That way, I am
slaying Tatakshya as well as coming back to life. I have understood the method to gain

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