Page 95 - Musings 2022

down my own spine. I knew then that something had grown horribly wrong. I ran… like a

madman. Never in my life again did I run so fast. When I finally reached his house, I had to
wrestle my way through the crowd that had gathered up front. I could hear the violent sobbing

of his sister through the thicket of chatter. When I saw him, I almost gagged my stomach out.
I could barely recognise him, his face was swollen to the size of a football, there were gashes

and blood everywhere and the sweet, smiling face was contorted in pain. I held his lifeless body

in my hands and sat there crying till Swati took me inside the house. The neighbours
“We’ve to tell the police” I said to her once I got a hold of my nerves

“It’s no use,” she told me. She explained how it was goons sent by my father that killed
Narayandev. They had warned the entire neighbourhood of what was to come lest anyone

forget his place. The police wouldn’t help in a million years. They were of the same opinion as

the goons who had come.
At first, I resisted but then I realised that what she was saying was the truth. I knew in my heart

as well that complaining to the police would only bring them more pain and suffering. I cursed
myself for what I had done to an innocent man. Since he had no male member in his family, it

was I who completed his funeral rites. I saw the body blacken, the skin burning to a crisp and
the flesh falling off from the bones. I saw till I could see no more, saw death standing at the

pyre in all its terrible inevitability. I knew from that day that I did not want to see what I had

seen ever again in my life.”
There was silence in the office. The therapist did not say or write anything but gazed intently

at the man whose eyes were red with tears.
“Are you happy?” he asked

“I am sorry.” The therapist told him “But it is good that you let it out.” She scribbled something

in her notepad. “I just have one other question to ask”
“I don’t know if you can read people or not” he said acidly “But I am in no mood to answer

any more questions”
“I know” the therapist persisted “But just one more and I promise if you answer this one

correctly, it will help you in court”

The man pondered over it for some time then nodded gingerly.
“What was going through your mind at the time of the accident?”

The man sat silent, he knew the answer and yet he did not want to say it.
“I know what you are thinking.” The therapist said encouragingly “Just let it out”

“My wife told me that night that she was going to divorce me” the man said teary-eyed. “I
knew she was going to get custody of our daughter; mothers always do in these situations; and

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