Page 152 - Musings 2020

He was smiling. Then I saw it. A fence. I hadn’t broken through one, so assuming it covered
the entire property, we were still inside.
“Where are we going?” I almost screamed.
Meanwhile, an image floated in mind, a pair of light brown eyes, hesitant and scared. All I
could see was those brown eyes.
Desperate, I asked him, “Do I have brown eyes?”
He looked at me, laughed and said, “Why don’t you see the colour of your eyes for yourself,
Ms. Jeyne?”
“Jeyne? Yes. My name is Jeyne. Yes, I remember now.”

But how did he know my name? And who was Noelle? The image of those brown eyes
zoomed out and I saw a child’s face, innocent and scared. A voice called for its mama.
“What is happening? Officer, please. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know who
Noelle is, but I’ve seen her face.”

And then he drove the vehicle in front of the big grey building and this time I saw the white
coats waiting. I froze. “What is happening? This place is not safe.”
The white coats came close to the doors as I started to scream.
“Who are you?”
“I am but an agent of the law, simply following my duties Ms. Jeyne.”
I grabbed at the seatbelt to remove it and run, but could not take it off. I realized that I was a
captive once again. The white coats opened the door and used a key to remove the belt.
“What kind of a sick game is this?”
They lifted me and started to take me back inside.

The policeman watched and calmly said, “You can think of it as a game. It is actually a trial
to study how people respond to stimuli in threatening situations.”
A trial? “Who signed me up for a trial? You can’t do this!”
“The state signed you up for trial Jeyne. Actually, you were sentenced to prison for life.
We’ve just started making better use of prisoners. We needed to erase your memories for it,
but the effect can only last so long, we’re thinking of starting higher doses.”
“I’m not a criminal!”
“Oh but you are, the memories are coming back right, you already saw Noelle didn’t you?
Let’s hope you don’t remember how you murdered her. That was rather gruesome.” And with
that, he turned and left. The white coats dragged me inside, someone prepared a syringe, and
my gut instinct told me to make an effort to run.

But I saw a little girl straying from a playground, I saw her being pulled into a van. I saw her
looking at me with those brown eyes, and I heard the clink of handcuffs. I should fight, but
don’t you deserve this, said a voice inside my head. I felt the poke of a needle in my arm. I
saw Noelle’s frightened face, an empty bottle of vodka breaking. I felt anger and violence,
and the glint of metal. After that, I heard a scream. Then another one, which was mine as we
moved inside and the doors started to close on us. As my eyes started to close and darkness
surrounded me, I was glad I didn’t have to see anything else.

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