Page 165 - Musings 2021

Teacher: Hello Olivia, what is this I see? Why are you not playing the violin, isn’t this the
day we spent hours practicing?

Olivia’s ghost: But teacher, I can’t. I am not able to hear music, I am not able to even move
my hand. I need you to tell me everything will be alright and that you’ll meet me after this
performance to tell me where I went wrong so we can practice again. You need to promise
me that you...

Teacher: (interrupts her) Olivia you know I can’t do that. You know I am not real, I am just a
figment of your consciousness, and deep down you know the truth but just haven’t accepted it
yet.

Olivia’s ghost: Teacher then how do I play? How do I play when the person who motivated
me to become the best isn’t there for me anymore?

Teacher: You know I am always there for you, Olivia.

Olivia’s ghost: (shouting) No you are not, I needed you here on this day but you left me.

Teacher: (softly) Olivia...

Olivia’s ghost: I knew what you were going through and I didn’t try to stop you from tipping
over. Had I done something that day, maybe you...? (Stops speaking)

Teacher: Olivia you need to know it’s not your fault, I have always faced a problem and had
been fighting with myself. The day you lost your father I saw a similar pain within you.
Although I have always been fighting the demons within me, the day I saw your face light up
on holding the violin it seemed like I found a reason to go on. You were like the daughter I
never had and watching you grow up and become this independent and talented player gave
me a cushion of warmth and comfort.

(Teardrops fall off Olivia’s face onto the ground as the judges’ watch and sigh)

Olivia’s ghost: Then why did you leave?

Teacher: I am sorry Olivia, I just did not feel strong enough. Keeping all those emotions at
bay didn’t seem to work anymore. The burden had become unbearable and I did what I had to
do, but you need to know the happiest moments of my life came seeing you hold that violin
and go at it day and night. Your music is what made me happy.

Olivia’s ghost: Teacher I do not know what to do now.

Teacher: Olivia remember I am always there for you, close your eyes and let yourself loose.
C’mon look at yourself, (chuckles) that’s a very bad posture. Do I need to make you stand in
the rain with a bag of weights again?

Olivia’s ghost: (smiling) you know that never worked, right?

Teacher: Sure, now that you’ve mastered it you will claim you always had it. This generation
must be taught how to give credits. Somebody needs another round of rain shower with a
heavy bag.

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