Page 106 - Musings 2022

Too much dwelling on the past. I put on a smile, turn off the tv and start getting ready for the

date tonight. I met Kabir on a new matrimonial site “LOVE IS FOR LOSERS”. We are both
middle-aged and divorced. We instantly hit it off based on our common interest of listening to

Sufi music and watching Anime. Texts turned into calls. Calls turned into video calls. And now
it’s time we finally meet.

I open my cupboard and like always I don’t have anything to wear. It’s brimming with too

many clothes but never with something you want at the moment. I get the black dress from the
back of the cupboard. It’s been years since I last wore it. Wore it to my college farewell party.

How many things have changed since then? How I wish I could have stayed single and not
thrown myself and my self-worth away for love. How I wished that marriage with Sourav never

happened. Too much thinking again I remind myself. It’s time for new beginnings.

Black dress, Black earrings. Silver stilettos. Hair in a half updo. And I am all set. My phone
chimes and I know Kabir has arrived.

There he is. Not in his car. In an old Kolkata Yellow taxi. And he is leaning there smirking at
me. I don’t know what is about to come. I breathe in and let go of my overthinking. For some

time. It’s time to move ahead.
“So what’s the plan?” I whisper.

“Get in. I am going to teach you how to build a life”. He replies.

“What? How?” I wonder
“Get in Meera. All things will be known in due time” Kabir shushes me and opens the door.

We drove past Victoria memorial. And Chinatown. And Xavier’s. And the city border.
“Where are we going kabira?” I ask frustrated

“Someplace better than here” he whispers

I hold his hand and get lost in the Pink Floyd music in the background.
Two hours later. We arrived at Tenzing falls. It’s brimming with tourists. We get down and sit

on a bench near the entry gate.
“Why are we here?” I ask.

“To learn to live despite it all.” He replies

He goes on. “Meera, I know most days are very difficult. I know life has been a series of losses
for you. Failed marriage. Stupid job. Stupid heartbreaks. Unexpected deaths. But I think you

don’t give yourself enough credit. You don’t see yourself the way I do”.
“How do you see me?” I ask

“I see you as someone who cares. Someone who takes the effort. Someone who would do it
all. Someone who will go an extra mile for people. You rip yourself apart for strangers. You

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