Page 142 - Musings 2022

One day, Ikari got intel from one of our most trusted friends- You about the blueprints of the

weapons are. I had entrusted all my original work, my calculations and everything to Shin. Shin
refused to give up the documents. He wanted to protect our village and the neighbouring

villages from this world of war and sorrow. Looking back, I think his sacrifice was planned-
knowing Shin for so many years, this was expected of him, he always cried rivers for others’

sorrows. With each weapon we sold, a part of his heart chipped away, he prayed that the

situation never comes to them being used. With his death, he could finish off, or at least hinder
the production and selling of these war weapons.

Shin was shot down by Ikari, who had picked up a gun from the counter of our kitchen. Where
was I all this while? I was sent far off by him, he knew that we were going to be in grave danger

that day, so he sent me to take care of some petty job in the outskirts. By the time I had arrived,

it was too late. Even a person who knows nothing about weapons could tell the damage my
shin’s body had taken.

I could join the pieces together just in time, Shin had purposefully put that gun in the kitchen
specifically because he had the gas turned on for a while now. The kitchen, along with the rest

of our house took them both out.
I saw Shinsetsu for the last time, lying in my arms, no arms, bleeding from everywhere, his

clothes burnt in blood and his green eyes looking at me. His locket around my neck never felt

this heavy, it was as if he was holding it up all this while and now, he has let go. He had let go
of me and our future together. He couldn’t talk in his last moments because his windpipe had

been punctured, Wheezing, struggling to breathe, instead of squirming around, he tapped the
locket with his head. I knew what it meant. He wanted me to forgive the villagers who outed

us, who betrayed us, who tossed out our existence out of relevance. It Reminded me of

something he had said before, - ‘Our people have not changed, only the time has changed, and
times like these also change them in turn. They feel for us but at the same time, they too, have

something they wish to protect. Just like how I want to protect you, Natsu.’
The owner of the greatest weapon ever made now has no idea, no resolve, nothing left. Killing

the villagers who did us wrong seems about right. Right? What should I do? Should I listen to

hatred or love? Whom should I listen to? The me who hates Ikari and the village or the me who
loves Shintetsu and his ideals?

Thank You.

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